booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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