I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
