you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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