I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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