Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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