she was so not down for the gang bang
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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