while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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