is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
