I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
