Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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