so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
