you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
