Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
