last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
