ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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