Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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