thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
