did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
