i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Please don't give away my fajitas
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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