You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
