they need to just BURY HIM!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
