Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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