Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
