I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
