omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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