I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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