So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
