I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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