what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This house was built for laser tag.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize