1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
