idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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