the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
