I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
