we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
