At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
