I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
