It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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