it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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