i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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