Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
