let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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