It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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