Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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