I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
