Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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