I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
