Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
