yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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