I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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