Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
