As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
