i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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