awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
