marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
