This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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