I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
