so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
